Home For The Holidays: NFL Reinstates Ray Rice

Ray-Rice

Ray-Rice


It’s been a true rollercoaster ride for former Baltimore Ravens running back Ray Rice. After a bunch of suspensions, botched investigations and pointless interviews, Rice is now back in business and free to sign with any team he chooses after winning his appeal today. If you have been unconscious since September let me get you up to speed. The NFL’s clueless commissioner Roger Goodell was caught with his pants down when TMZ leaked a “never before seen” elevator footage of Rice cold-cocking his then fiancee Janay Rice in an Atlantic City casino on Valentine’s Day earlier this year. Goodell suspended Rice for two games in August after doing his due diligence.

Fast forward to September of this year, TMZ releases the video and now Goodell felt the heat and suspended Rice indefinitely. Then the Ravens cut him. A month later ESPN’s releases a phenomenal investigative report revealing Ravens owner Steve Bisciotti and company saw the video and begged Goodell to only give Rice two games even though Rice personally told Goodell and the Ravens the whole truth. Yikes.


Rice wisely appealed that joke of a second suspension with the same evidence–except now the public knew how full of shit Goodell is. Well now justice was semi-served as Rice is back and will in all likelihood sign with a playoff contender and raise hell for opposing defenses again. Who should go after ┬áRice? Here are three teams that should be blowing Rice’s phone up.


Indianapolis Colts

Andrew Luck has been having an insane year. A large part of that has been his great supporting cast featuring Reggie Wayne, T.Y. Hilton and Ahmad Bradshaw. Unfortunately Bradshaw broke his ankle and the Colts are left with Trent Richardson’s carcass and some dude who calls himself “Boom”. Throw Rice into that mix and the New England Patriots and Denver Broncos can start shitting their pants. Which reminds me…

New England Patriots

No one loves picking up running backs off waivers quite like Bill Belichick. Just last week the Patriots picked up Steelers flame-out running back LeGarrette Blount and he ran for 100 yards and 2 TDs against the Detroit Lions. Rice is ten times better than Blount. Tom Brady can always use more weapons and Rice will already be the best weapon on that Patriot offense not named Rob Gronkowski. Will the evil mastermind Belichick do it again? The rest of the league sure hopes not.

Denver Broncos

Oh lawd. If this happens the city of Boston will smell like pure defecation and fear. Peyton Manning already has an all-world receiving core and a defense that should be doing better than they are currently doing. The only thing missing is a good running back. The Broncos have been doing just fine with no names like C.J. Anderson, Ronnie Hillman and Montee Ball so one can imagine what that offense would look like with a top five running back. If Manning could make Knowshon Moreno look like a beast than he could make Rice look like God.


Which team will ultimately get Rice no one will know until it happens. We never do. It always seems to be a team no one expects just like the Eagles did with Michael Vick the Denver Broncos did with Peyton Manning and the Patriots did with Darrelle Revis. It’s always a crap shoot. What we do know is that Rice will be picked up rather quickly and it will in all likelihood be by a good team so if you are in a fantasy football playoff scoop Rice up now. Oh and Commissioner Goodell, how does Ray Rice’s ass taste?