For quite some time now, I’ve kept a terrible secret.  I’ve done everything I could to rectify the situation, but all I can do is ask for your forgiveness and understanding.  I’m aware that I am probably a part of a minority of gamers who would say this, but I, Patrick Velky, Sony fan since ’95…despise Trophies.  Oh, the shame!

Before my crucifixion, I want to clarify the source of my frustrations.  I have no problem with the idea of Trophies.  We live in tough economic times, and gaming is not a cheap hobby.  Trophies are a built-in mechanism to extend a game’s natural lifespan.  However, I feel that this Trophy-obsessed gamer culture that is being created isn’t natural.  I understand the desire to milk every ounce of playability out of a game.  I do.  But I don’t understand those who will spend hours shooting for Platinum in a game that they don’t even like.  On occasion, I will wholly dominate a game beyond perfection (the Metal Gear Solids, the Devil May Cry’s, the newer Resident Evils, Heavy Rain, Valkyria Chronicles, to name a few), but because I enjoy it, not to increase some number next to my PSN ID.

In 2008, Sony revealed its response to Xbox’s coveted Achievements.  As far as I know, the only improvement upon the system is that Trophies are more discreet and don’t make that annoying “bonk” sound.  In the beginning, I paid little attention to Trophies.  At first, I thought that Trophies might be something useful and tied to in-game rewards (exclusive items and weapons) or small amounts of free money (as in, “Two cents have been added to your wallet”).  Once I learned that that wasn’t true, I figured that they were some sort of fake award to show off in your PlayStation Home.  The truth wasn’t far off, really.  As we all know, Trophies are a well-deserved pat on the head for players who perform exemplary feats such as beating a level, killing enemies, or pressing certain buttons.  Hooray!

In some games, the arbitrary goals that Trophy hunters are given can be downright baffling.  I know that’s an unfair generalization (and I am deeply sorry!), but my point is that Trophies don’t measure your skill as a gamer, despite what some may think.  The official PlayStation website even declares, “With PlayStation Trophies, you don’t need to brag.  Your trophy case does that for you.”  Again, I might be in the minority with this opinion, but bragging is obnoxious.  Especially when it’s based on Trophies that are handed to you by tying your shoes.  Putting your virtual kid to bed on time does not make you a hardcore gamer.  You’re just padding a number.  It’s like bragging about how many Facebook friends you have, especially when you don‘t know who any of them are.  You may think that sounds like loser talk, but I just don’t appreciate living in a culture where people expect a reward for doing what they’re supposed to.  And I never thought that it would infect my video games.

My problem with Trophies extends beyond disliking their effect on modern gaming culture.  I also hate the way they can adversely affect my game-playing experience.  First of all, there’s spoiler Trophies.  You know the ones I mean.  The ones that tell you that you’ve accomplished something before the game has.  This may be more of a personal problem, since I just loathe unwanted spoilers in anything.  But anyway, I think the most sinister spoiler Trophies are the ones that pop up saying “You beat the game!” (yet another reward for doing something you‘re already meant to do) well before the credits roll.  Yes, you can usually tell when a game is winding down, but such Trophies prematurely and inappropriately reassure the player, “There is no danger beyond this point.”  There will be no quick-time events, no escape mission, and no surprise attacks from a forgotten villain.  The first Uncharted game comes to mind as an unwanted reward (pre-Trophy support) exclaimed, “Hey!  Even though this game did an incredible job of immersing you in the story, feel free to ignore this final fight cutscene entirely.  You’ve already won.”

In addition to tainting my full enjoyment of a good game, Trophies have also occasionally prevented me from playing games entirely.  Let’s remember the Great PS3 Crash of 2010.  Shortly following the release of Heavy Rain, I had invited some friends over to marvel at the highly anticipated title.  But like thousands of pre-Slim PS3 owners, I was disappointed to find out that the game would not load.  At all.  For a day.  Checking constant updates online, I found that Sony’s official word was that an internal clock error prevented these PS3s from logging into the PSN.  “But, Heavy Rain doesn’t have a single online component,” I thought.  Then, my black brick informed me and my impatient friends why we couldn’t play ANY PS3 games that day:  “Failed to install trophies.”

Even games without Trophy support were affected by this extremely inconvenient crash, yes, but I can’t help but believe that none of it would have happened if I could just turn the damn things off.  Which is my biggest complaint regarding the blasted things:  I cannot escape them.  They are the single reason why I cannot bring my Fallout 3 (and many other games’) save file over a friend’s house without lugging my entire 11-lb. console:  to prevent us from illegitimately obtaining Trophies.  I don’t even want them!  My gamer level could be zero for all I care.  If I want to brag about my gaming mastery, I’d link players to an impressive YouTube video of mine or something, not some make-believe closet.  And what’s worse is that they are everywhere.  Trophy support is now considered a selling point for even the simplest of offline, family-oriented titles, like EyePet and Disney Sing It: Pop Hits.  No one but you cares that you completed a singing lesson (I’m guessing that’s a Trophy).  I wish that Sony would just make them optional.  I don’t mind extra incentive to play a game or even a little competition, but why am I forced to participate?

I realize that getting a Platinum trophy can take a lot of time and effort, but do you honestly get a personal satisfaction from it?  I say, don’t be a slave to preset goals.  The best moments in gaming are the ones that make you jump and yell in disbelief of your accomplishment.  And these rarely are rewarded with Trophies.  I’ve outlasted a tank and a BTR–who were hunting me relentlessly–with nothing but a near-empty pistol.  I’ve gone behind enemy lines to rescue a dying teammate from six would-be executioners.  I get sweet satisfaction from causing enemies (AI and humans alike) to kill teammates and themselves with friendly fire.  Do I ask for any sort of reward?  No.  As I’ve said before, I have nothing against you Trophy hunters (so long as you’re not annoying).  But I sincerely hope that you are making yourselves happy and not just wasting your time trying to prove something to everyone else.

[Trophy Unlocked:  You win the article!]

via PSU